Often, the more anger the parties showed, the more likely it was that the negotiation ended poorly-for example, in litigation or an impasse (no deal). When I bring everyone back into the classroom after 30 minutes, there are always students still yelling at each other or shaking their heads in disbelief.ĭuring the debriefing, we survey the pairs to see how angry they felt and how they fared in resolving the problem. But some react angrily themselves-and it’s amazing how quickly the emotional responses escalate. Some of the negotiators who did not get the secret instructions react by trying to defuse the other person’s anger. I’ve never seen the exercise result in a physical confrontation-but it has come close. They wag a finger in their partner’s face. Although some students struggle, many are spectacularly good at feigning anger.
Then, as the pairs negotiate, I walk around and observe. Raise your voice.īefore the negotiations begin, I spread the pairs all over the building so that the students can’t see how others are behaving. Call her “unfair” or “unreasonable.” Blame her personally for the disagreement. You must display anger for a minimum of 10 minutes at the beginning.” The instructions go on to give specific tips for showing anger: Interrupt the other party.
What makes this simulation interesting, however, lies not in the details of the case but in the top-secret instructions given to one side of each pairing before the exercise begins: “Please start the negotiation with a display of anger. Then each pair is tasked with renegotiating-a process that could lead to an amended deal, termination of the contract, or expensive litigation. Each student assumes the role of either client or supplier and receives confidential information about company finances and politics. They learn that the two parties signed a detailed contract eight months earlier, but now they’re at odds over several of the terms (sales volume, pricing, product reliability, and energy efficiency specs). I assign students to partners, and each reads a different account of a (fictitious) troubled relationship between a supplier (a manufacturer of computer components) and a client (a search engine start-up). It is, without question, my favorite day of the semester-the day when I teach my MBA students a negotiation exercise called “Honoring the Contract.” For example, feeling or looking anxious weakens your bargaining power, so prepare and rehearse to stay calm, or ask a third party to negotiate for you. Recommendationsīe aware of the emotions that negotiators commonly experience and how displays of emotion may be perceived. Research shows that we can regulate the anxiety, anger, excitement, disappointment, or regret we may feel and express in the course of a negotiation-and doing so can help us make better deals. Negotiators typically focus on strategy, tactics, offers, and counteroffers and don’t pay enough attention to how emotions affect what happens at the bargaining table. But if feelings of excitement, like other emotions, are well managed, everyone can feel like a winner. Getting excited too early can lead you to act rashly, and gloating about the final terms can alienate your counterparts. And don’t close the deal too early you might find ways to sweeten it if you keep talking. Disappointment can be channeled to reach a more satisfactory outcome.īefore disappointment becomes regret, ask plenty of questions to assure yourself that you’ve explored all options. To avoid or defuse anger, take a break to cool off, or try expressing sadness and a desire to compromise. In some cases, it intimidates the other parties and helps you strike a better deal, but in other situations, particularly those involving long-term relationships, it damages trust and goodwill and makes an impasse more likely. You can also avoid anxiety by asking an outside expert to represent you at the bargaining table. You will be less nervous about negotiating, however, if you repeatedly practice and rehearse.
Here the author shares some key findings and advice. Negotiations can be fraught with emotion, but it’s only recently that researchers have examined how particular feelings influence what happens during deal making.
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